Guest column: We were all fortunate to know Kelly Pickering

Sometimes we are fortunate enough to have individuals who can touch our lives and make an impact.

Coach Pick was one of those.

Kelly Pickering, head coach of the Mattituck High School girls volleyball team, was a longtime guidance counselor at Cutchogue East Elementary School and touched countless lives on and off the volleyball court.

Her influence went well beyond winning and losing.

It was about instilling confidence in young women and emboldening them to be the best they could be, whether on the volleyball court, at school, or elsewhere.

Senior Mallory Meier remembered when she joined the squad two years ago.

“She really helped me with my confidence a lot,” she said. “When she pulled me up, she told me that she saw a lot of confidence in me, that I needed to really work on.”

Meier listened and learned. She played a vital role in the Tuckers’ home-opening win over Pierson/Bridgehampton in their Suffolk County League VIII campaign on Wednesday. Mattituck won, 25-21, 25-10, 25-22.

Coach Pick was taken from us way too early. She passed away on Feb. 15 at the age of 49.

Given how much Pickering was beloved and respected, the team has dedicated the season to her.

“It’s definitely a little bit hard, but I think that we need to definitely win a lot of games for her, play for her,” Meier said.

Coaching teams at any level presents plenty of unique challenges.

In high school, coaches are constantly teaching, during practices and at games.

Coaches also need to be psychiatrists, because each player has a different personality. You can show tough love to some and have a lighter touch with others. It is a fine line to walk.

It’s not an easy job, whether you’re winning or losing.

Jeff Hauser succeeded Pickering as the Tuckers’ head coach.

Before he had an opportunity to consider it, Hauser was nominated by Jeanine Graviano, Coach Pick’s wife. Hauser had grown close with Pickering and her family for the past few years.

“He was like a nephew to her,” said Graviano, who attended Wednesday’s match. “They worked so well together. When he came to the wake, we hugged. The first thing I said to him was, ‘You’re taking over varsity volleyball whether you want to or not, because there’s no one else to do it.’ “

Graviano was spot on.

As an assistant coach and junior varsity coach, Hauser already knew the players.

He also had varsity experience, running the show as the boys lacrosse coach the past two years.

Hauser knew he had inherited a unique situation.

“It’s something that we talk about in practice a lot,” he said. “You have to be focused. You have to do the little things, like what would Coach Pick be saying right now? What would she want? How would she react to what you just did? You have to keep that in the back of your mind because for the last three, 3 1/2 years with her, I learned so much. You just want to make her proud and just be able to instill that in the girls at the same time.”

Hauser, 28, has liked what he has seen so far.

“I do think that we are a playoff caliber team,” he said. “Everybody does their part, even the girls who were on the team last year who maybe didn’t get that much playing time, who are now inserted into the starting lineup. They’re making the most of their minutes, and they don’t complain. They just come ready to work.”

Mattituck has endured some heart-breaking times this year.

Coach Pick passed away in February.

Gavyn Drago, 17, who had entered his senior year, died from an epileptic seizure on Sept. 4.

“This group, especially my senior girls, have been through so much between the passing of Kelly and then just last week losing a wonderful classmate and a great kid,” Hauser said. “I can’t even imagine being in their shoes and what they go through.”

Mattituck is a close community.  Hauser noted that Mattituck’s graduation class ranges from 75-90 students. Kids have known their classmates for their entire lives.

“It brings us together a little bit more,” he said. “These guys are resilient, and they play through. They dedicate the games to Kelly and Gavyn. It’s nice to see that when you go through a tough time, it’s easy to bury your head in the sand. These guys have taken it by storm. They’re just ready to go.”

As it turns out, the same can be said for their new head coach.