Mattituck athletes, coaches pay tribute to Kelly Pickering: ‘A guiding light’

When Mattituck High School seniors Claire McKenzie and Grace Quinn think of their favorite memories with Kelly Pickering, they both think of the same time: losing in the county finals. 

The school’s varsity girls’ volleyball team lost to Bayport-Blue Point in the Suffolk County Class B final last November, ending the season, and for Claire and Grace, ending their volleyball careers with Mattituck. 

“We were sitting in the back of the bus, and usually the coach sits up front, but she went back to sit with us,” Claire recalled. “We all gave her hugs. We were crying in her arms. It was such a heartwarming moment, and it definitely helped soothe the pains of never playing volleyball again.” 

Ms. Pickering, affectionately known as “Coach Pick,” died on Sunday, Feb. 15, at age 49. She was surrounded by her family, including her wife, Jeanine Graviano, and their 5-year-old son, after a medical episode while they were watching the Winter Olympics, Mattituck-Cutchogue Superintendent Shawn Petretti said.

“This is a tremendous shock for our whole school community,” said Mr. Petretti. “Kelly was a healthy, athletic, energetic 49-year-old woman. We have lost a great educator and friend.”

Ms. Pickering, of Center Moriches, spent 17 years in the district, joining as a guidance counselor at Cutchogue East in 2009. Along with leading the school’s young setters and blockers, she also spent some years coaching softball. She was named coach of the year by the Suffolk County Girls Volleyball Coaches Association last December — an honor voted on by her peers.

This year, she also became the elementary school’s dean of students, a disciplinary role working with students and families.

Claire started playing volleyball in 10th grade, always being coached by Ms. Pickering. During practices, she was tough on her players, demanding the most out of them, just wanting her players to be the best they could be, Claire said.

Sometimes, Ms. Pickering’s son would be a special guest at practice. He would run around, yelling, “Mom!” and jumping into her arms. When that happened, her strict-coach persona would take a backseat. To Claire, that exemplified her special duality.

“Outside of volleyball, she was like a friend, or even like a second mom,” she said. “She was always someone I could go to, especially since she was a guidance counselor. She definitely helped a lot whenever I needed something or just wanted someone to talk to.”

Grace began playing volleyball as a freshman and started getting closer to Ms. Pickering when she got called up to varsity in 10th grade. She, too, felt the tough love and the push to get better. 

“As a coach, she was really tough, but the second a game was over and we were on a bus, she would be feeling like family,” she said. “She was just so close to us. She always wanted to hear our conversations, be a part of our lives and help us in any way. I’d say that she definitely wanted to be more than a coach, and her impact was definitely that.”

Ms. Pickering worked with some of Grace’s family at Cutchogue East, so they knew of each other when Grace first joined the team, forming a unique bond between them on and off the court. Grace feels that brought them so close together.

She remembers that bus ride after the county finals loss vividly, and recalls all the seniors in the back of the bus telling Ms. Pickering how much they loved her and how she was always there for them. When asked if she believes Ms. Pickering knew how much she meant to everybody, she said, “I hope she did.”

“She had such a big impact on so many kids’ lives,” said Grace. “Even kids who weren’t athletes loved Ms. Pickering for how much she cared for her community and the schools. So, yeah, I hope she did, because she really had a huge impact on the whole Mattituck community.”

News of Ms. Pickering’s death drew heartfelt responses across social media. The Mattituck High School Alumni Facebook page and Mattituck Varsity Volleyball Instagram account posted tributes.

Mat Lichhult knew Coach Pick for over two decades, but the two grew really close over the last 10 years while coaching junior-high girls’ basketball together. The two, along with their spouses, would often FaceTime during Covid.

Mr. Lichhult, who is in his first year back as a physical education teacher at the high school, spent 12 years at Cutchogue East. There, he worked with both Ms. Pickering and Ms. Graviano, who his wife joked were his “work wives.” Ms. Graviano is an elementary school teacher at Cutchogue East. 

“We really got close,” said Mr. Lichhult. “My wife called her my ‘work wife,’ but she really became like a sister to me.”

Mr. Lichhult said Ms. Pickering was “always about the kids.” She always had an open door, and kids would constantly go to talk to her. She cast a wide net, both as an educator and coach, but no matter how she knew a student, Mr. Lichhult said she was there to take care of them.

“She was an amazing educator and person, and she was always all in on everything that she did,” he said. “There were many kids that she looked after and took under her wing. After Covid, kids had a tough time with anxiety and things coming back from that, and Pick was always a guiding light for them.”

A pop-up fundraiser for Ms. Pickering’s family will be held at Hamptons Field House in Riverhead on Saturday, Feb. 28. The event, from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m., costs $40 per person. All money raised will go to her family.