Editorial: What’s happened to civility?

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This Golden Rule — a basic, universal principle calling for human decency — has begun to tarnish a bit lately. Growing up, we all must have learned at one point to treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves. However, differing opinions and divisive political rhetoric continue to fuel polarization, sparking outrage, consternation and incivility.
As the Rt. Rev. Mariann Edgar Budde said in her recent inaugural sermon: “The culture of contempt that has become normalized in our country threatens to destroy us.” This trend is not only unnervingly prevalent across the country; it is also beginning to impact our traditionally close-knit North Fork and Riverhead communities.
At a public hearing held in Riverhead last week for Scott’s Pointe, the room was packed with supporters for the amusement park’s amended application. Each advocate who went to the podium sang the praises of the park and the economic and recreational benefits it offers workers and families in the area. Many of the speakers came from across Long Island — even as far away as Maryland — to voice their support.
Unfortunately, those who spoke to instead urge town officials to reject the park’s amended application, and require Scott’s Pointe’s owners to resubmit an updated site plan to seek approval for the attractions that were built without authorization — almost all of them women living in Riverhead Town — were met with boos and jeers from the audience. One speaker said the women should “go about their business [and] sip their tea at home.” Riverhead Supervisor Tim Hubbard interjected a handful of times to quell persistent audience interruptions, but no one was asked to leave the hearing.
Late last week, in response to growing concerns over new White House executive orders, the Riverhead Central School District and Board of Education issued a press release outlining measures they plan to take to protect students from the potential threat of heightened federal immigration enforcement efforts.
While many in the community have expressed support for the district’s stance, several comments on our papers’ social media sites took a different position, including some who argued that children of area non-citizens — the vast majority of whom hold jobs and pay taxes — should not have the right to public education because of their “illegal” status. One commenter wrote: “I hope they do raid the schools.”
In times like these, a call for unity can seem like “a big ask,” as the Rev. Budde put it — but it’s not impossible. When we take a moment to reflect on where the other side is coming from, to put our differences aside and come to a place of understanding, unity can grow.
The reality is this: Words can hurt, and they can circulate. Those who spew vitriol online or in public meetings might believe their words are simply opinions or a matter of free speech. But they can also spark fear in the fourth-grader whose parents are non-citizens or the legions of undocumented workers who have contributed significantly to our local economy for decades and are just trying to make an honest living.
At the end of the day, politics aside, we have only each other to lean on.
“Without unity, we are building our nation’s house on sand,” the Rev. Budde said.
Some cracks are starting to show in our community’s foundation. Let’s each do our part to mend them.