Ruth Ruffner leaves her mark on Greenport IGA

Ruth “Ruthie” Ruffner, stalwart grandmother and a beloved figure at the Greenport IGA, passed away Sunday, Oct. 5, at the age of 80. 

Ms. Ruffner worked at the IGA for the last 38 years in both the deli and as a cashier. Lynn Mott, Ms. Ruffner’s long-time coworker, described her as “hard on the outside, but soft on the inside.”

“She was the lady, when she moved up front to the cash register, that gave the kids the lollipops. Every kid who comes in the store looks for her to give them a lollipop,” said Ms. Mott.

In a life plagued by tragedy, Ms. Ruffner remained a solid presence for her family. She suffered the loss of her daughter and husband 18 days apart. Ms. Ruffner would often meet her husband on her breaks and for lunch they would spend the time together. Ms. Mott described them as “like newlyweds.” Ms. Ruffner also endured a house fire in 2021. 

“She has literally been the rock of our family. She’s had a very hard life herself,” said Heather Parker, Ms. Ruffner’s granddaughter. “And even through all of that, she has just literally been the strongest woman I’ve ever known.”

In spite of each set back, she cared for her grandchildren throughout their lives, watching over them and making every moment special.

“There’s really never been a day where we didn’t either live with her or live down the road from her. Her babysitting us, take us shopping, she’s always been in our lives every single day, since the moment we were born,” said Randi Parker, Heather’s sister and Ms. Ruffner’s granddaughter. “I always remember her working hard and always making us desserts and cooking Christmas cookies and her letting us do the little thumb prints. She was in every day of our lives.”

Heather Parker is also the mother of Ms. Ruffner’s only great-grandchild, Antonio Grayson. Despite the fact that Antonio lives in South Carolina, Ms. Ruffner had no problem making him feel special. 

“There’s nothing in this world that he could think of wanting that she didn’t give him. Even from hundreds of miles away, she just made sure he was he knew how much she loved him. She always talked about him and brought him up,” said Heather Parker.

Whenever they needed anything, Ms. Ruffner was there, whether they asked or not. 

“There was no take it or leave it option, it was only take it or take it,” said Jason Parker, Ms. Ruffner’s only grandson. “She was my rock. The best grandma I could have asked for.”

Jeremy Garretson, local photographer and freelancer for the Suffolk Times, featured Ms. Ruffner in his Faces of Greenport project. 

“My goal was to highlight people like her. The ones who quietly keep this community running, often without the recognition they deserve,” he said. “When I stopped by the IGA to ask if I could take her portrait, she said, ‘Why do you want a photo of me? I’m not important.’ I told her, ‘On the contrary, I think you’re one of the most important people in Greenport, and I know I’m not alone in feeling that.’”

When taking her picture, he asked her what her one piece of advice she would pass on to others. She answered, “Live every single day to the fullest, because you never know what life has in store.”

Heather Parker said that her grandmother made sure that they always felt loved and cared for: “She was like the most present grandmother. She just never missed a beat with anything, and her strength was just unmatched.”