Remembering a coach who loved her team

The journey from Centereach to Mattituck probably felt longer than 38 miles and 45 minutes for Stella Tatarka on Friday, Nov. 7.

The senior standout had just competed in her final high school volleyball game for the Tuckers, who lost to Bayport-Blue Point in the Suffolk County Class B final.

Tatarka, who was sitting in the back of the team bus, took the loss hard.

“It’s the only sport I play,” she said. “So, I was so upset that my senior season was over. It’s my last time in a jersey.”

Head coach Kelly Pickering came over to console her star player.

“She knew how hard that was for me, because she had watched me at travel practices,” Tatarka said. “She had really been through volleyball, throughout my entire experience, and she just sat on the bus with me. I cried in her arms. It was the sweetest thing.”

That was hardly a one-off gesture by Coach Pick, who had endeared herself to her players for years before passing away on Feb. 15. She was 49.

What Pickering did didn’t surprise me at all.

While covering the team on four occasions last fall, I got the strong impression that Coach Pick treated her players like they were her daughters.

During timeouts, they would listen intently to her words of wisdom. I wasn’t in earshot, but I could tell that they had listened to every word, by the expressions on their faces.

Coach Pick’s players reciprocated by playing hard. They loved their coach. They would run through the proverbial brick wall for her.

“She was so real with us,” Tatarka said. “It never really felt like a coach-player relationship. She was always pushing us harder, telling us the truth, even if we didn’t want to hear it. She was pushing us in ways that I feel maybe other high school coaches won’t do. She was a travel coach. She can get more personal with her players than just as a high school coach.”

It is not easy coaching sports teams these days, whether it’s pro, college or high school.

A coach’s expertise has to go beyond just the X’s and O’s.

They need to be good communicators and motivators as well, and even a part psychiatrist. They also need to balance their competitive fire with logic, and not allow the emotions of a controversial call by a referee get in the way.

“She always knew she could give me advice, and I’d be okay to hear it,” Tatarka said. “I always wanted to grow. I trusted her instincts.”

So did the rest of the squad.

Covering the team so much, I got to know the players’ roles and tendencies.

Senior Grace Quinn was always ready for the kill.

Senior Claire McKenzie worked her magic in and around the net.

Sophomore Lizzie Fohrkolb was the defensive savior, recording more than 500 career digs.

And Tatarka was the set-up artist, ready to assist a teammate, finishing with more than 500 assists.

“She texted my mom when I was going to get my 500 assists,” Tatarka said. “There were so many different times that she would really just be more of a friend than like a coach, which is what I really loved.”

I enjoyed interviewing Pickering. Her answers were direct and to the point, with little or no BS.

She always stressed how proud she was of her players.

After defeating rival and host Greenport/Southold in a memorable match on Sept. 26, Pickering said, “There were a lot of moments where the girls had some nice hits, some nice plays, and you could just watch and smile. They did a good job. They played hard start to finish. The girls didn’t give up. I couldn’t be prouder of our team.”

After Mattituck lost in the Class B final, I asked Pickering to look back on the year.

“We improved throughout the season,” she said. “There’s so many little milestones. They came together and played hard and stuck together from start to finish, no matter what the score was.”

With the formal part of the interview completed, I told Coach Pick: “I enjoyed covering your team. I had a lot of fun.”

Pickering thanked me.

Looking back, I am glad I told her.

Thank you again, and RIP, Coach Pick.